Post Six - what Does Deuteronomy 30:11-20 have to do with Batman?

Deuteronomy 30:11-20 (New International Version)
The Offer of Life or Death

¹¹ Now what I am commanding you today is not too difficult for you or beyond your reach. ¹² It is not up in heaven, so that you have to ask, "Who will ascend into heaven to get it and proclaim it to us so we may obey it?" ¹³ Nor is it beyond the sea, so that you have to ask, "Who will cross the sea to get it and proclaim it to us so we may obey it?" ¹⁴ No, the word is very near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart so you may obey it.

¹⁵ See, I set before you today life and prosperity, death and destruction. ¹⁶ For I command you today to love the LORD your God, to walk in his ways, and to keep his commands, decrees and laws; then you will live and increase, and the LORD your God will bless you in the land you are entering to possess.

¹⁷ But if your heart turns away and you are not obedient, and if you are drawn away to bow down to other gods and worship them, ¹⁸ I declare to you this day that you will certainly be destroyed. You will not live long in the land you are crossing the Jordan to enter and possess.

¹⁹ This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live ²⁰ and that you may love the LORD your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the LORD is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.

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So what does that have to do with Batman? well, a lot...

after reading a reply to post 4 by Chris S i was reminded of a question that i had floating around in my very cluttered brain. how has batman affected my life? there are some positives to batman such as his seemly never ending need to fight evil (even the evil from within himself), his ability to function through pain, his great focus and task completion, his willingness to self sacrifice, and his very cool style. but, there are negatives to batman. he never gets married, often times he is portrayed as being reluctant to work with people, and it could be argued that he is hopeless to a degree. he doesn't really trust people and always has a plan for when someone betrays him. the relationships that he does have are dysfunctional. he has gone through several sidekicks and girlfriends.

so what has batman done for me?

well, i have tried to take on all of the positives batman and also a lot of his negatives have permeated into my life. mainly the problem that i have is that i most likely developed a view and attitude that is not compatible with God's Love, Grace, and Mercy. basically batman has become a hinderence to me getting closer to God. i often, reluctantly, work/spend time with people expecting for them to only cause me problems and get in my of completing my goals. i don't really trust people and i often try to accomplish things by myself, even when i know that i need help. like batman, i only allow people to help me when it is either logical or beneficial to me and my goals. because of this my relationships feel and most likely are dysfunctional in some way because of my devaluing relationships. also, i wish that i had more desire and passion to fight the evil within me, sin, like batman does. i need to work on that, i need to learn/practice not compromising with myself. now to defend batman, i am not sure if the way i am now is bruce wayne's fault. i am a product of my past experiences and i have had some very negative experiences with people that most likely have played a part in me becoming who i am along with, at times, my worship of batman.

Deuteronomy 30:11-20 Application

¹¹ Now what I am commanding you today is not too difficult for you or beyond your reach. ¹² It is not up in heaven, so that you have to ask, "Who will ascend into heaven to get it and proclaim it to us so we may obey it?" ¹³ Nor is it beyond the sea, so that you have to ask, "Who will cross the sea to get it and proclaim it to us so we may obey it?" ¹⁴ No, the word is very near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart so you may obey it. ¹⁵ See, I set before you today life and prosperity, death and destruction. ¹⁶ For I command you today to love the LORD your God, to walk in his ways, and to keep his commands, decrees and laws; then you will live and increase, and the LORD your God will bless you in the land you are entering to possess.

so, as a Christian i am commanded to make disciples and mature them. my issues with people can and must be overcome if i am to obey God fully. He has let me know that making and maturing disciples is not beyond me. all i need do is just to keep his word and remember it in my heart and ask for his aid when i need it. Loving others is not beyond me.

17 But if your heart turns away and you are not obedient, and if you are drawn away to bow down to other gods and worship them, 18 I declare to you this day that you will certainly be destroyed. You will not live long in the land you are crossing the Jordan to enter and possess. 19 This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live 20 and that you may love the LORD your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the LORD is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.

so, i need to let go of batman as a role model/demi-god or else be destroyed. i need to have trust and confidence in God, His will, and that he will make good on his promises. i want to live long and i want God's blessings, all i have to do is choose life this day.

Post 5: Proverbs 7 & 8: A Tale of Two Callers

today i read Proverbs ch.7 for part of my quite time and was reminded of how eager, persuasive, and pursuing temptation is. also, i was reminded of the cost of temptation which is death. the young man in the story ended up losing his life because he was unable to resist the charm of an older woman. temptation is always there calling out to us, enticing us, daring us, and causing us to lose focus on the big picture.

later i read proverb ch.8 and found a different tale. wisdom is also calling to us trying hard to draw us in and many time we (i) ignore wisdom for other things. why do i fall prey to temptation? many times it's due to my lack of patience and perseverance. i get focused on the short term and seeking instant or quick gratification.

a major reason i deny wisdom is my lack of discipline. we have to make an effort to find wisdom and once we find it we have to put it into practice.

Post Four: "failing is not just for failures, it's for everyone. failures just have more experience."

"it has to hurt if it's to heal, my God it must be healing
it's like a knife in heart, and i'm starting to lose feeling
it's gonna hurt before it heals, but the pain is getting bigger
the damn is about to go, and i'm running out of fingers
it'll hurt but it will heal, i'm starting to believe it
eyes wide open in the darkness, but i really can't see it"

Dan Smith AKA The Listener

that poem best describes my last few weeks.

there has been a lot of pain felt, realizing that some things need to go and that i need to change.

there has been a lot of bitterness and sadness, not really understanding where it all comes from. just knowing that it's not healthy or right.

there has been a lot of guilt and longing just to leave it all behind and try life somewhere else in a different way. there has been much inner conflict not knowing which version of me i really want to win.

there has been selfishness, only seeing life through my eyes discounting the experiences of friends, family, and strangers. there have been many lies told, believed, and experienced.

there has been forgetfulness, forgetting the people who make life joyful, forgetting sacrifices made, forgetting my goals, hopes and dreams.

words are merely sweet nothings whispered into ears without actions.

lately my words haven't matched my actions. i have abandoned almost that i hold dear. choosing to live in a fog of despair and self pity.

i have let some of the worst emotions take control of my heart.
now i have to start again...
my fight to control my emotions
my fight to seek Hope in all situations
my fight to but God above all in my life.

please accept my apology and hold me accountable for change.
words are merely nothing without actions.

Post 3 Needed Change

this past weekend i had the opportunity to go to Goodphil 2009 at UTA. it was fun and refreshing for me. in case you don't know what Goodphil is it is a yearly meeting of FSA groups from twelve universities throughout Texas held at a different host school each year. the first night of Goodphil is the dance competition which has three dances, cultural, spirit and modern (hip-hop). the next two days consist of sports all day. i was able to be a judge for the dance competition and i played basketball and dodgeball.

so was does this have to do with my spiritual life? well a lot, this weekend i saw many pretty/beautiful girls and i could not lust after them like a couple of my would friends do. my basketball team was undermanned in every game. it was hard to keep a positive attitude. i had to remind myself to be encouraging for my team. UH acted like jerks, prideful, boastful, and rude at times. it was hard to keep my cool. sometimes i wanted to tell them to shut up. Goodphil is a very competive environment and it is easy to lose yourself in competition.

this weekend has shown me that i need to make more of an effort to hang out with non-Christians. i had fun this weekend and their was no external pressure put on me to conform to my sinful nature. there was a time that i thought that hanging out with non-Christians would mean that i would always be pressured to conform to what they were doing. this weekend i found that was a misconseption. i guess i looked down upon non-christians because they didn't have the same morals as me. that was me being prideful and self righteous. also, i make the claim that i want to be like Christ, that i want to imitate Him daily, that i want to live as he lived. Christ was out among the people, all types of people. he spent time with those honestly seeking God and with those who didn't know or care about God and His will. if i am true to my words than i have to learn to live amongst the people, all of hte people. i have to become a people person. i can't continue to spend time only with those people i am confortable with. in order to grow in my faith i must go outside of comfort, place my trust in God through the awkward and uneasy situations in life.

this weekend made wonder how are we to live in an competive society? our society is built on competition and competition permiates into every facet of american life. what does this mean for christians living in the US? how can we show the love of God and compassion of Christ in competition?

Post Two!

So like the First one this blog is kinda on the sad side. i got the call from my mom at 2:30 am. i t wasn't what one wants to hear. "your father is in the hospital", she said. i started to pray. my prayer was whatever your will be, let it be done. i said that prayer knowing what pain could be in store me. about an hour later i prayed that my father stay hear with us, " he is still useful, there is so much potential left in him, let him stay."

well my dad is still here as i write this he is in the hospital. the doctors are working on bring his blood pressure down and stabilize it. during this time my mom kept repeating "the prayers of the righteous availith much" and they did. i have no idea how many people prayed for my father but his recovery was faster then i expected. i thank god for that.

one thing that i saw in this is the need for men to suck up their pride and ask for help. to my dad's credit he did schedule a EKG the saturday morning he was admitted to the hospital but, he waited to long. also, i noticed that we self diagnose to often. my dad thought that his recently declining health was in part caused by allergies. also, he thought that his body would rebound and improve itself over time. so after watching my dad go through this i am going to get an EKG and get my heart checked out.

my dad did a good job with keeping his attitude and mindset in the right place. he was always kind and polite to his nurses, doctors, friends, and family. that is something that i still need to perfect. i often find myself just wanting to get away from people, especially this semester. i often struggle to find the balance in finding time for me to be alone, time for spiritual investment, and time to do course work. part of the struggle is recognizing that the way i spend my time is not centered around God.

my dad's hospitalization has given me time to think about how i should spend my time. it is nice to have his week away to sit and think and just to have a change of pace and it is nice to be with my parents once more.

the first post

so this is the first post and it's not going to as happy as i would like it be.

right now i'm sitting in class watching a film about people looking for love/marriage . a topic that almost always make me feel bad. marriage is something that i really want to happen for me and watching this video doesn't really raise my hopes of finding a wife.

i can't stop thinking about my relationship with God. right now it's rocky. i feel like i'm so distant from God. my quite times feel like a one sided conversation. right now i'm missing intimacy with God.

part of the problem is me. often i feel, so um, "anti-God". my will just doesn't match up with with God's. He's called to live for Him and i consistently try to live for myself. so there in lies my problem the source of my pain.

i'm trying to live a dualistic life and i'm torn by that. i don't know how long i'll be in this phase but, i have made one resolution and that's to keep trying to get/be close the God. i constantly pray that God will change my heart and will to completely resemble and mirror His own.